God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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