Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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