he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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