Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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