i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
