Tell her she can't have a vagina
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
