You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
