I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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