Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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