woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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