I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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