I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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