No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
