ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
