I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
