found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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