I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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