? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
