just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
