Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
