im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
