if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
