Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
