Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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