Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
