marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
