Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
