Fuck appropriateness.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
