did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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