I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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