Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.