I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
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is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
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He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity