these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.