I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
