So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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