I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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