Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
