i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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