So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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