Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
