dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
