Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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