Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
