Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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