they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
