so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
