i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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