i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Randomize
