If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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