Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize