I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I didn't shave. On purpose
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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