I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize