i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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