Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
