Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
