It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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