3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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