you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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