i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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