I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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